Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: The doctor asked me how long I’d had amnesia. I said, “For as long as I can remember”!

Gerhard’s Bonus: Surgeons are now playing background music to relax their patients before they operate. They are calling the first song their opening number!

Bob’s Bonus: I want to know why croutons come in a air tight container when they are just stale bread in the first place!

Tuesday: I got into an accident and I was surprised when the doctor handed me a report saying that my fingers were all broken. The news was hard for me to grasp!

Bonus: What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose!

Bob’s Bonus: A Scotsman and his wife walked past a swanky restaurant. She said “Can you smell that food – it smells absolutely fabulous”. Being a kind hearted man, he decided to give her a treat, and they walked past again!

Wednesday: I’m writing a song about replacing the lock on my door. There’s a key change at the end!

Bob’s Bonus: If you think you are hungry, you might just be thirsty. So have a bottle of wine first and see how you feel!

Elvis’ Bonus: How much did the pirate pay for his earrings? A buccaneer!

Thursday: I’m looking for ways to keep my thumbs warm in fingerless gloves. Any tips?

Bonus: I had to change my password, so I tried ‘penis’, but it said it was too short!

Bob’s Bonus: What has a broken bra strap got to do with a fighter jet? One must hang!

Elvis’ Bonus: It’s with deep sadness that I have to announce that my origami business has folded!

Friday: What do you call weightlifting vegetables? Muscle sprouts!

Nikki’s Mumma joke: If you were a kid when the song Red, Red Wine came out , UB40 ish now!