Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: My wife and I drove about 500 km on the weekend to go visit family. When we got there, my uncle asked if we had taken turns to get here. I said yes – it was too difficult to get here in a straight line!

Elvis’ Bonus: I once knew a horse, she’d only come out at night. She was a night mare!

Bob’s Bonus Anagram: Astronomer – moon starer! George Bush – he bugs gore!

Tuesday: My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating. She’s starting to sound like my wife!

Elvis’ Bonus: I tried to come up with a joke about carpentry that woodwork, I thought I nailed it but no body saw it!

Bob’s Bonus Anagram: Dormitory – dirty room! Desperation – a rope ends it!

Wednesday: I found a wooden shoe in my toilet – it was clogged!

Paul’s Bonus: A bunch of criminals have broken in a chemist shop overnight and stolen 120 packets of Viagra. The police are looking for a bunch of hardened criminals!

Bob’s Bonus Anagram: Slot machine – cash lost in me!

Elvis’ Bonus: I told a joke at the airport once, it never took off!

Thursday: A friend wanted to start collecting dogs. So I gave him a couple of pointers!

Bob’s Bonus Anagram: Morse code – here comes the dots. Election results – lies, let’s recount!

Elvis’ Bonus: If you’re being attacked by a group of clowns, go for the juggler!

Friday: I was in a band once called Teenager’s Bed. Never made it!

Nikki’s Mumma joke: If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!