Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: I met a girl who runs a battery kiosk in the local park. So basically, she sells C cells by the seesaw!

Elvis’ Bonus: I’m downloading the song from Titanic, it’s syncing now!

Bob’s Bonus: Why is that when someone tells you that there is a millions stars in the universe, you believe them. But as soon as someone tells you there is wet paint, you have to touch it to check!

Tuesday: What do you call a walking mosquito? An itch-hiker!

Elvis’ Bonus: My girlfriend poked me in eyes, so I stopped seeing her!

Bob’s Bonus: You know you should pay your bills. If you don’t pay your exorcist you’ll get repossessed!

Wednesday: I just entered a competition to win the entire Abba back catalogue of music. There are no other prizes as … The Winner Takes It All!

Bob’s Bonus: I decided to test my grand daughter on her colours. This went on for about 5 minutes or so, and she was right every time. Then she got up and told me that it was time for me to learn them for myself!

Thursday: What do you call a pair of inspirational shoes? Motivational sneakers!

Bob’s Bonus: If we are here to help other, what are the others here for?

Elvis’ Bonus: I was dismayed to see someone had left out the 5th month on the calendar!

Gerhard’s Bonus: One of the film studios have announced a remake of Hitchcock’s classic The Birds. Leading roles by Russell Crowe, Steven Seagal and Ethan Hawke, with music by Taylor Swift!

Friday: Genie: “I shall grant you 3 wishes”. Man: “Firstly, I wish for a world without lawyers”. Genie: “Done. However, you have no more wishes”. Man: “But you said 3 wishes”. Genie: “Sue me!”

Bob’s Bonus: If we are here to help other, what are the others here for?