Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: Paddy and Mick were in a pub. Paddy was doing a crossword and asked Mick “How do you spell paint?” Mick replied “What colour?”

Elvis’ Bonus: I was at a restaurant last night and the waitress asked if I wanted to box for leftovers. I said I’m not a violent guy!

Bob’s Anagram Bonus: Laryngitis: Try sailing!

Paul’s Bonus: I dated a microbiologist – she was taller than I thought!

Tuesday: I had a date last night, and it was perfect. Tomorrow I’ll have a fig!

Bob’s Anagram Bonus: Toffees: Tees off!

Paul’s Bonus: What do you call a moose with no name? Anony-moose!

Wednesday: What do you call a drunk dinosaur? A staggersaurus!

Bob’s Anagram Bonus: Terminates: Main Street!

Elvis’ Bonus: Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta way, but before he died he was making a pizza but ran out of thyme. He cannoli do so much!

Paul’s Bonus: What do you call a bloke holding a shovel? Doug! What about after you take the shovel off him? Douglas!

Paul’s extra bonus: What do you all a one eyed dinosaur? A didgysaurus!

Thursday: I had a university fund, but I spent it on a boat and called it my scholar ship!

Chris’ Bonus: What do sophisticated kangaroos listen to? Hopera!

Bob’s Anagram Bonus: Presbyterian: Best in prayer!

Elvis’ Bonus: My mate bought an igloo in Alaska. I went to his house warming party, now he’s homeless!

Friday: A farmer once tried to sell me his bull. I didn’t buy it. He was charging too much!

Bob’s Anagram Bonus: Procedure: reproduce!

Bonus: I hate double negatives. They’re a no-no!