Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: For the record … I should probably buy a turntable!

Bonus: A limbo dancer married a locksmith. The wedding was low key!

Bob’s Bonus: For a perfect marriage: two times a week go out for a feed and a few drinks. She goes on Tuesdays, he goes on Fridays!

Elvis’ Bonus: My mate couldn’t afford to pay his water bill, so I sent him a get well card!

Tuesday: I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store. I don’t think he’s gonna find what he’s looking for!

Elvis’ Bonus: My dad used to wash the car with me, I was glad when he got a sponge instead!

Bob’s Bonus: They told me I should drink responsibly. To me, that means don’t spill any!

Wednesday: I hate it when people use repetitive phrases. Enough is enough!

Bob’s Bonus: Little Johnny was asked what the chemical formula for water was. Johnny said “H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O”. The teacher responded “What are you talking about?” Johnny said “You said it was H to O”!

Elvis’ Bonus: What happens when two snails fight? They slug it out!

Thursday: I’ve clever new printer. So I printed a photo of myself in ultra violet ink. No people see me in a different light!

Bob’s Bonus: If someone comes up and sits beside you when you are sitting on a bench in the park enjoying the peace and quiet, look straight ahead and quietly say “Did you bring the money?”

Elvis’ Bonus: I made dinner last night for my family but they didn’t like it because I put ginger in it. Seems they loved that cat…

Friday: What do you call a scientist that studies carbonation? A fizzicist!

Nikki’s Mumma joke: If you were 4 years old when the song Rock Lobster came out in 1976, you’d B52 now!