Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: I used to wonder who flipped a vampire’s pancakes. Turns out it’s Count Spatula!

Elvis’ Bonus: What happens to a frog that’s illegally parked? It’s toad away!

Bob’s Bonus: Did you know the chap who invented crosswords is buried in our local cemetery? Yeah – three down and four across!

Tuesday: My advice to anyone wanting to climb the mountains between France and Spain: You will need strong legs and a good Pyrenees!

Elvis’ Bonus: What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas!

Bob’s Bonus: I was told to act my age. I said “I don’t know how to, I’ve never been this age before”!

Wednesday: I tried doing 100 sit-ups but I didn’t finish. My stomach couldn’t handle that kind of ab use!

Bob’s Bonus: The sheep will spend their whole life fearing the wolf, but end up being eaten by the shepherd?

Elvis’ Bonus: Never spit your false teeth out at your vehicle. You might denture car!

Thursday: Why don’t you see many tortoises wearing scarves? They have turtlenecks!

Bob’s Bonus: My grandma was called by a scammer the other day and he told her “I have all your passwords”. She said “Thank god”, as she grabbed a pen and paper, “what are they?”

Elvis’ Bonus: Went to a restaurant called Karma last night, they serve just desserts!

Dave’s Bonus: My account got charged for stealing my cattle, he claimed he was just doing a stock take!

Friday: I bought some oats for my horse but returned them because they were poor quality. Thankfully the manager accepted my feedback!

Nikki’s Mumma Joke: Did you hear about the guy who survived mustard gas and pepper spray. He’s a seasoned veteran!